40 Red Flags for Dating Cis White Men, Given Without Explanation
Don’t freak out if your new datemate has one of these red flags — some of these may actually be signs of special interests, disability, or neurodivergence. However, if you’re checking off 5, 10, 20 of these? Run.
4 min readNov 11, 2021
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- His favorite character is the Joker (any version, comic or movie).
- His favorite movie is any of the following: Fight Club, Natural Born Killers, Clockwork Orange, Boondocks Saints, Pulp Fiction, or The Godfather. [Thanks to my friends for the last two.]
- He is really into his Viking heritage (especially if he’s not actually into Medieval/Renaissance Faires or LARPing).
- He argues with well-accepted feminist talking points, like the wage gap, claiming that there is actually no inequality in that domain.
- He is very interested in criticizing other people, and he rarely likes anyone new.
- He thinks some types of music, movies, and/or books are objectively superior to others. [It’s usually the modern ones by Black and Brown people that he thinks are inferior, by the way.]
- He says he has a “dark side" or a “monster" inside him.
- He says you can’t handle his damage or brokenness.
- He has no friends, especially no active friendships that are emotionally close.
- He says things like “you are my reason for living,” “I would die without you,” or “I need you to live.”
- He talks about sexual development over the lifespan and how sex is a human need.
- He has never lived alone without an afab person present.
- His living space is not well maintained (e.g., no bed frame, never vacuums, huge pile of trash or laundry).
- His hygiene is poor (e.g., no wash cloth or loofah in the shower, doesn’t brush his teeth at least once daily, doesn’t wash his clothes regularly).
- He only speaks negatively about his ex-partner(s) and takes no responsibility for the problems in his past relationship(s).
- He cheated on his past partner(s)…
