The Sister of Gaslighting: Slow Drip

What abusers and Instagram ads have in common

Photo is a close-up of a light-skinned person’s face as yellow paint drips from their bottom lip. The person is only visible from their nostrils (top) to the base of their neck (bottom) and from the right side of their neck (left) to the left side (right), so much of their face is not pictured. The person is wearing makeup, especially vibrant purple and orange lip makeup. Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels.

You’re on Instagram (again, of course). You see the same company advertising to you (again, of course). You’ve seen this company’s ads dozens of times over the past three years. You’ve never been tempted to click one of the ads — until today. Today, they got you. Their new product has exactly what you felt the old product lacked.

Sold.

Fortunately, this scenario hasn’t happened to me more than once or twice. I am reasonably difficult to advertise to. I don’t tend to impulse purchase, I’m moderately frugal, and I’m environmentally conscious. Pressure to buy faster via sales countdowns tends to have the opposite-of-intended effect on me; it’s a sure sign to me that I should abandon my cart and sit on the purchase for awhile. I have a good read on how much happiness products will give me versus the amount of trouble they will give me, and I act accordingly. I don’t buy designer goods, perfume, makeup, or fast fashion.

But that doesn’t mean I’m impossible to advertise to. I love clever products, useful tools, and interesting jewelry. I love art and cooking supplies. I love comfortable clothes with pockets.

It is an effective marketing strategy, I’ll admit, to periodically advertise to me over the course of…